When’s the right time to ask for feedback? More often than you think.
According to an InHerSight survey, just 25 percent of women say they ask for feedback at work monthly or more. Thirty-four percent do so only a few times a year, 12 percent wait until formal performance reviews, and nearly a third (29 percent) rarely or never ask at all. That means many are missing out on the insights that could help them build stronger relationships, grow into leadership roles, or better navigate career transitions.
Career and leadership coach Leah Stallone says transitional career moments, like stepping into a new role, joining a new team, or getting promoted, are ideal times to ask for feedback. “Any time a woman's career is changing, that’s a key moment for seeking feedback,” she explains. “These are the points where it’s especially valuable to look to others for insight—both on what you’re doing well and where there might be opportunities to grow.”
Still, asking for feedback can be intimidating, especially if you’re unsure how or when to bring it up. But when approached thoughtfully, feedback is one of the most powerful tools for professional growth, connection, and clarity.
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3 key moments to ask for feedback at work
While it can be tempting to wait for formal performance reviews, some of the most transformative feedback happens in smaller, more transitional moments when you're navigating change, leading something new, or wrapping up a big project.
1. When you're transitioning to a new role
Starting a new job or transitioning into a promotion? These are two ideal times to ask for feedback. “If you're leading a new team or promoted to a managerial role, asking for feedback is a great way to build connection and rapport,” Stallone says.
Being proactive early on also sets a tone of transparency. Rather than waiting for something to go wrong or a yearly review to come around, inviting constructive input in the first few weeks shows initiative and sets the expectation that feedback is part of your process.
You might ask:
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“How is my communication style landing with the team?”
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“What’s one thing I could start doing right away to make your work easier or more efficient?”
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“Are there any early habits I should build—or avoid—as I step into this role?”
Try offering your own assessment first to make feedback even more of a two-way street. For example, you might say, “I’ve noticed I tend to default to email rather than in-person check-ins. Would a different approach work better for you?” This kind of thoughtfulness builds trust and keeps the conversation productive.
Read more: 5 Steps to Respectfully Making an Impact as a New Hire
2. After a major project or presentation wraps
One of the most overlooked but high-impact moments to ask for feedback is after a project comes to a close. When everything is fresh in everyone’s minds, it’s easier to make meaningful adjustments for the future.
“I’ve always been a fan of scheduling postmortems or post-project feedback sessions,” Stallone says. “When something comes to a close, it’s helpful to create some structure around the feedback. Don’t just ask, 'What’s the feedback on the project?' One common model I like is 'Start, Stop, Continue.' In other words, “What’s one thing I should start doing, stop doing, and continue doing?”
Taking time to reflect and ask questions after a project also gives your colleagues a window into your professional development mindset, which can open doors to mentorship or future opportunities. Stallone says specificity is key. “If you simply say, 'Can you share some feedback?' it’s often too broad of a question, and others don’t know where to start,” she says. “Instead, say, 'I’ve looked at the project, and here’s what I think worked well. What do you think?' That kind of self-awareness signals that you’re strategic, committed to learning, and open to growth. It also makes others feel more comfortable giving feedback in return.”
3. When building a new working relationship
Asking for feedback early in a professional relationship can help build trust and prevent misalignment later on.
“When I was starting a new role, joining a new team at a new company, I wanted to be proactive, curious, and build connections,” says Stallone. “I asked team members directly how they preferred to communicate and receive feedback. Because it was a brand-new relationship, I had the opportunity to establish norms from day one. Putting myself in that slightly vulnerable position to ask how I could show up for them only deepened our relationships. It created a huge sense of trust and opened the door to more meaningful communication going forward.”
When you ask for feedback initially, it doesn’t have to be a big, formal process. “I often encourage my clients to start conversations with something simple like, 'I trust your opinion,' or 'I appreciate your guidance,'” Stallone says. “That frames the conversation with respect for their time and honesty. It’s like starting with the end in mind.”
How to solicit constructive and actionable feedback
The best feedback is clear, actionable, and tangible. To get it, ask specific, open-ended questions and be intentional in how you approach the conversation.
“Always give people time,” Stallone says. “It’s friendly and respectful to let someone 'noodle on it' a bit. Sending questions ahead of time and being specific makes a big difference.” In practice, this might look like sending an email after scheduling a feedback meeting that says, ‘I’d love to get your feedback on two areas where I could grow to become a better leader. Looking forward to your thoughts—thanks in advance!’
“When you're in a new role or building new relationships, sometimes asking for feedback is like tearing off a Band-Aid,” Stallone says. “But if you share something you’ve developed, like a growth or SMART plan for the next few months, it shows you’ve already put in the work and encourages more constructive responses.” Sharing a development plan can also help to frame conversations around your goals. For instance, if you’re trying to grow as a communicator or strategic thinker, mention that upfront and ask for input in that area.
Be sure to use growth-oriented language. Stallone says, “Instead of asking, 'What am I bad at?' or stating, 'I’m not good at this,' talk about opportunities. Ask, 'What’s one positive thing I can focus on, develop, or grow into?' That reframing makes the conversation more productive and forward-looking.”
Avoid these common mistakes when soliciting or responding to feedback
Asking for feedback is a skill—and like any skill, it gets easier with practice. “Being too vague is the biggest mistake people make when asking for feedback,” says Stallone. “Asking in the moment without giving someone time to think usually doesn’t lead to anything meaningful. You’ll likely just hear, ‘You did great!’ People often assume no news is good news, but that’s a mistake. You have to develop the muscle to constantly reevaluate your performance and seek out honest input.”
Stallone says a common pitfall is seeking feedback only from people who are always in your corner. Instead, she recommends turning to a trusted truth-teller—someone who supports you but won’t shy away from offering honest, constructive feedback. “Try not to defend yourself right away,” she says. “A big part of feedback is learning how to emotionally regulate and operate from a growth mindset. If you tend to react strongly, ask yourself ahead of time, ‘How can I prepare myself for this conversation? What will I do if I need more time?’”
She says it can help to have a few back-pocket phrases ready. “You can always say something like, ‘Is it okay if I think about this and follow up?’ You can also ask clarifying questions, but know yourself first—are you ready to engage in that feedback conversation in the moment, or will this be a two- or three-part follow-up?”
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Navigating vague or overly critical feedback
When receiving vague or negative feedback, Stallone says it’s important to create a feedback loop, not just receive feedback and mull it over alone. “Sometimes, feedback can be gutting, especially when it’s unclear,” she says. “I always encourage developing a process of restating what you heard. It’s often best done afterward, over email. Laying it out on paper helps take some of the emotion out of it.”
Following up in writing gives you space to clarify and process on your own terms. “Anytime I receive feedback, I follow up with a summary of what I heard plus any additional questions,” Stallone says. “That way, I’m creating a safe space to clarify. I could say, ‘You mentioned I wasn’t aggressive enough. I’m curious, what would that look like in this context?’ Asking follow-up questions shows you’re coming from a place of curiosity, especially when you’ve built rapport.”
If the feedback is truly inappropriate or not inclusive, Stallone reminds her clients that at the end of the day, we get to choose what feedback we take in and what we take with a grain of salt. “If the delivery was poor, try to get to the nugget of useful information. Ask yourself: Does this advice align with my goals and who I want to be? There will be moments when you have to prioritize which feedback to act on. You can’t take everyone’s advice all the time—they might not have all the facts or context. Having a reflection process in place helps you be real with yourself,” she says.
Read more: The Glow and Grow Technique: 16 Illuminating Self-Reflection Questions for the Workplace
