We all want to be happy at work. Though seemingly unrealistic or unobtainable, happiness at work is attainable, in part due to boundary-setting and clear communication.
The ability to communicate and maintain your boundaries is empowering. It can help you build a more content and balanced existence. Setting realistic goals, maintaining a work-life balance, and taking breaks to recharge are especially important in preventing burnout and avoiding toxic productivity, the idea that your worth as a person is tied to your output.
Dr. Janys Murphy Rising, a licensed mental health counselor, says, “Boundary-setting in the workplace is especially important for women, since so many end up doing unpaid emotional labor. Without boundaries, women can feel overwhelmed, extreme fatigue, and if it is not addressed early enough, resentment towards others.”
Plus, when women—and all employees—have a clear understanding of their priorities and limitations, they can allocate their time and efforts more efficiently, focusing on tasks that matter the most. This not only enhances individual performance, but also contributes to the overall success of a team and organization.
To promote sustainability in your working habits, learn when you should be setting boundaries and how you can properly communicate your needs to those around you.
Read more: Your Guide to Setting Boundaries in the Workplace
When should you be setting boundaries?
Basically, all the time. Clear and open communication helps you protect your peace and manage expectations both for yourself and others.
Picture an ideal work week and what it looks like and feels like for you. Once you have the mental image, think about how you can create and enforce that schedule in real life. In order to explore and gauge when you might need to set boundaries and in which areas, ask yourself these questions:
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How much time do I want to reserve for myself every day/week/month?
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Do I want to have working hour limits? Am I okay with communicating “after hours” or on the weekends?
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What activities or tasks should take priority in my free time?
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How can I decide which extra projects to devote time to?
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What tasks at work take the highest toll on my mental health?
From there, examples of boundaries you decide to set might include:
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Saying no to working on the weekends
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Not checking your work email after a certain time
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Specifying preferred modes of communication
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Establishing limits on the number and duration of meetings you attend
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Setting realistic deadlines for projects
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Communicating the need for personal space
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Designating clear break times during the workday
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Making time to drop off or pick up your kids from school
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Using your paid time off or mental health days
Make your boundaries known. When your manager and colleagues understand your limits, you’re less likely to feel overwhelmed or resentful. If someone isn’t respecting your boundaries, stand up for yourself. Clinical psychologist Dr. Jessica January Behr advises advocating for yourself by using “I statements” instead of “you statements.” This approach avoids placing all the blame on someone else and emphasizes your own boundaries as well as authenticity in how you’re feeling.
For example, instead of saying:
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"You're crossing my boundaries."
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“You can’t make me work outside of my designated hours.”
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“The workload you’re encouraging is causing me to be less productive.”
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“You’re asking too much of me right now.”
You can say:
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"I feel uncomfortable when my boundaries aren’t respected."
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“I’m not comfortable working on weekends, but I’m happy to prioritize this task on Monday.”
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“I understand the urgency of this project, but this is not something I have the bandwidth to take on right now. I can ask someone else on the team to help you.”
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“Thanks for thinking of me on this one. I’m always up for a challenge, but this falls too far outside my skill set.”
Read more: 'I'm Still Speaking'—and 11 Other Ways to Stop Interruptions
10 email templates for setting boundaries and communicating needs
If you can have conversations about your boundaries in person, that’s great. If that’s not possible, you can still communicate boundaries over email. Here are 10 easily customizable templates to use in various scenarios.
1. When you get a request after-hours
Hi (name),
I hope you're having a great day. My work hours are typically from (start time) to (end time), so I’ll plan on tackling this during that time. If there are any pressing matters outside these hours, please let me know in advance, and I'll do my best to accommodate them when possible.
Thank you for understanding,
(Your name)
2. When you need to delegate a task
Hello (name),
I appreciate your confidence in my abilities to handle this task. However, my current workload is quite heavy, and I want to ensure that I can give this project the attention it deserves.
I'd like to suggest that we consider (colleague's name) for this task, as they have expertise in this area and more availability at the moment. Please let me know if this solution works for you.
Best,
(Your name)
3. When you’re managing meeting requests
Hello (name),
Thank you for requesting to meet! To ensure productive and focused meetings, I've set specific meeting hours in my schedule.
I'm available for meetings on (days and times). If these slots work for you, please let me know, and I'll confirm the time. If not, please suggest an alternative, and I'll do my best to accommodate it.
Looking forward to our discussion,
(Your name)
4. When a client is requesting more than you agreed to
Hi (name),
Thank you so much for your email—it’s great to get an update from you. It sounds like this request will require more work that we originally agreed to and would be best saved for our upcoming meeting together.
If you’d like to move up your next session so we can talk sooner, feel free to reschedule your appointment. Otherwise, let’s save this so we have enough time and attention to dive into it fully.
Talk soon,
(Your name)
5. When you don’t have the bandwidth to accept another client
Hello (name),
Thanks for thinking of me for this project. Unfortunately, my schedule is completely full for the next few weeks.
However, I have a colleague who has helped me with this sort of work in the past. I’d be happy to reach out to them and see if they have time. Also, I'm more than willing to revisit this in (specified time frame) when I expect my workload to ease.
How does this sound?
(Your name)
6. When you’re enforcing someone else’s boundaries
Enforcing others’ boundaries is also a good chance to lift up other women. If you witness someone else’s boundaries being crossed, show your allyship and say something simple like:
Hi (name),
I recall you saying you prefer to log off at 4 p.m. to go pick up your kids. Drive safe, and team, let’s pick this discussion back up tomorrow so we can all feel recharged.
Thanks everyone!
(Your name)
7. When you’re defining your communication preferences
Hi (name),
Thanks so much for sending out this meeting invite. I love this kind of open communication. That said, I’m feeling very meeting-heavy lately and would love to streamline some of our communication so I can reserve more focused time on my calendar.
I propose that we prioritize email for non-urgent matters and reserve meetings or calls for more critical discussions. This approach will help me manage my time effectively and minimize disruptions. I'm open to your thoughts and suggestions on this matter.
Thank you,
(Your name)
8. When you’re clarifying roles and responsibilities on a project
Hi (name),
I wanted to touch base regarding our roles and responsibilities on this project. To avoid any potential overlap or confusion, I’ve started a document where we can designate our respective roles and expectations. That’s attached/linked below. This will help us work more efficiently and minimize misunderstandings.
Let's discuss this further the next time we chat!
Best,
(Your name)
9. When you’re streamlining email communication
Hello (name),
Thanks so much for keeping me up to date! I’m wondering, however, if we can streamline our email communication. Upon reflection, I’m realizing I often struggle to process and keep track of the topics we cover simply because of the sheer volume.
Let’s keep emails straightforward and concise moving forward, and save discussion for meetings, where we can speak at length. This will help me ensure I don’t miss important information.
I value our communication and want to continue working together effectively. Please let me know if you have any suggestions or preferences!
Best,
(Your name)
10. When you’re clarifying personal commitments
Hi (name),
I wanted to send a quick note to ensure everyone is aware of my schedule moving forward. I will be unavailable for work-related matters between (specific time range) on weekdays, as I prioritize picking up my child from school.
During this time, I will be offline and away from my desk. I plan to complete any pressing tasks either before or immediately after this time. Thank you in advance for your patience and for honoring this schedule.
Let me know if you have any questions or concerns,
(Your name)
