This week, I was going to write about celebrating birthdays at work, because mine is next week and we recently ran a poll on the topic. (While 28% of us love our birthdays, many of us, myself included, simply want the day off to celebrate on our own. I wouldn’t turn down a slice of office sheet cake, though.)
But as I entered my usual pre-birthday reflection phase, another idea came to mind.
I’m a huge advocate for personal growth, and over the past year, I’ve been completing what I call “vulnerability challenges” to test my comfort with areas I’ve struggled with in the past.
Sometimes these challenges are small and benign, like posting a more personal caption on Instagram. Other times, they’re bigger: setting clear boundaries with certain people, or openly communicating about challenges and what I need from others. To be candid, it all feels awful in the moment. Afterward? It ends up being mostly okay. Survivable.
And eventually, like now, about a week before my birthday, when I reflect on how much more comfortable and secure I feel, it actually feels really good.
So instead of telling you how I always take my birthday off, wear a new dress, go to brunch alone, and listen to a curated playlist (all true), I want to share three tactics I used this year to complete my vulnerability challenges—ones you can apply at work or in life:
Zip up your supersuit
In journalism school, when I was just learning how to interview strangers for stories, my professor used to tell us to “zip on our supersuits” before going out into the field. Our class would circle up, she’d tell us to imagine a personal supersuit (you could choose the color, fit, features, anything), and then we would all pantomime zipping.
The idea was simple but powerful: the suit became a protective shield. It wasn’t us, exposed and vulnerable, approaching strangers or asking hard questions—it was our strong, capable alter ego in the supersuit.
You can hopefully see why this imagery is helpful when doing something vulnerable. Picture yourself saying no to a tricky client or a coworker who consistently crosses lines. It’s natural to feel exposed. Now zip on the suit. It’s not just you responding anymore—it’s your stronger self, and she’s got this.
Make it fun
How can vulnerability possibly be fun? Well, what if you were also simultaneously wearing a hydrating face mask?
This year, I’ve been pairing uncomfortable tasks (disputing internet bills, navigating medical bureaucracy, processing hard conversations) with small, enjoyable rituals: wearing a face mask on calls, painting my nails on the back porch, or scheduling a phone chat with a friend immediately afterward.
Adding lightness to moments of discomfort doesn’t diminish their importance. It helps me feel grounded and makes it easier to take action.
Consider your future self
It’s human to avoid things we’re not ready to face. With my vulnerability challenges, I’ve found myself quietly circling certain issues, delaying the inevitable.
When my supersuit and face masks aren’t enough, I fall back on this mindset: the person who will have to deal with this later is still me.
Then I ask myself:
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What can I control in this scenario, and what will I never be able to control?
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How would handling this now free current and future me from stress, anxiety, or other negative feelings?
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What is the smallest possible step I could take toward this today?
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If I delay this, what am I hoping will change? Is that realistic?
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What kind of life do I want for my future self, and how does this choice align with that vision?
Nine times out of 10, my answers lead me to taking action sooner rather than later. And when they don’t, I know I’m simply not ready yet.
