Last week, we published an article on cultivating peer networks. This topic is a tricky one to write about, because the minute you see the words “peer network” in a headline, you probably think of LinkedIn requests and networking happy hours. It’s often seen as a career advancement tool, not a survival guide.
But a peer network is actually exactly that: a community and safety net that helps you withstand just about anything. In the article, Jasmine Matthews, one of our longtime contributors, highlights recent data showing nearly half of our audience feels a decline in support from their companies right now. She guides readers through conversations with managers, coworkers, and other connections—actionable ways to build and nurture the kind of care you need at work. I highly recommend exploring her advice—and I want to add a little more.
Peer networks are often built on commonalities, like age, experiences, interests, and life stages. The goal of having such a network is mutual, intentional support—people who get you, people you can be real with. It’s a way to ask for what you really need, unfiltered. (I like to think of it as friendship-plus. The people who drop groceries on your doorstep when you’ve got the flu.)
But cultivating one requires authenticity, which isn’t always easy. If you want to connect with people on a let’s-have-each-other’s-backs level, you’ve got to lead with the exact energy you hope to receive. Vulnerability and accountability are at play, and so is risk. Any time you put yourself forward with authenticity, there’s risk.
So, you have to be brave. And bravery is uncomfortable.
A few years ago, during a Zoom happy hour, a friend told me: “People who are brave know it.” I’ve thought about that one-liner and her quiet wisdom since. It applies beautifully here.
What does it mean to know that you’re brave?
It means feeling it in your body. A pressure on your chest. A flush of embarrassment and a spark of avoidance. A slow swallow as you realize that what you’re about to do requires you to level up on the spot—maybe even to feign confidence—in order to prioritize your own needs and comfort. You feel all of that, and you lean in anyway.
In a world that’s both hyper-connected and strangely isolated, it can feel safer to remain nonchalant, even if connection would feel better, more alive. Authenticity feels radical and terrifying. But it matters. Finding our way back to each other is the healthiest, most sustainable way to grow and survive.
In her article, Jasmine presents straightforward scripts that foster real connection: asking for feedback, recognizing the gifts in others that you want to grow in yourself, sharing your admiration and seeking advice at the same time, self-advocacy, and being honest with yourself and others about what’s weighing you down.
When I read the piece, I thought: It takes real courage to do this. It’s brave to invest so authentically in what you deserve.
But the payout? The payout is infinite.
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