I usually take advice from social media therapists with a boulder-sized grain of salt. But a few weeks ago, this one-liner got lodged in my brain: "Resentment and rumination are your mind trying to win an argument you're never going to have." That thought feels relevant for today’s Pipeline.
Last week, we asked our audience how much employer ghosting impacts them during the job search, and a whopping 71% of you told us it “very negatively” affects your morale. Anger, resentment, frustration, despondency—these feelings flooded the survey’s comment section, and for valid reasons. Ghosting of any kind can be dehumanizing. Destabilizing. Enraging.
It can make you want to win an argument you’re never going to have. And while I believe you deserve to win that argument, I also believe you deserve peace.
So this week, I reached out to therapists and career coaches to talk through realistic ways to release the emotions of employer ghosting. My one qualifier for their advice? No platitudes like, “It says more about them than it does about you.” We know that’s true mentally—but that doesn’t mean our feelings and bodies do.
Here’s what they had to say.
But first, this is why employer ghosting stings so much:
Ghosting activates multiple psychological wounds at once.
“There is the loss itself, especially after investing time, hope, and emotional energy into multiple interview rounds,” says therapist Anita Webster. “There is also ambiguity, which the nervous system experiences as a threat. When there is no clear ending or explanation, the brain keeps searching for meaning, replaying conversations and scanning for what went wrong.”
Ghosting also hits how women are socialized, tapping into “deeper experiences of being dismissed, undervalued, or expected to perform emotional labor without reciprocity,” she says. “It breaks an unspoken social contract around respect and closure.”
5 tips for emotionally weathering employer ghosting
Tip 1: Redefine success
Therapist Maggie Hollinbeck recommends shifting from outcome success to process success. “When you measure your success by outcome, i.e., getting the job, you’re likely to feel just awful most of the time. But if you measure your success by process, i.e., effort, persistence, integrity…then you can rack up process successes whether or not you get the outcome you wanted,” she says.
Try asking yourself:
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Did I follow through on everything they asked for?
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Did I show up on time?
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Did I treat everyone with respect, from the interviewer to the receptionist to the car valet?
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Did I spend 10 hours on searches and applying?
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Did I do what I said I would do in terms of following up or persisting?
“If I did my part well, I can count that as a success and keep it moving,” she adds.
Tip 2: Set personal closure rituals
You can reclaim your agency by deciding for yourself when something is over for you.
“Setting a pre-determined date on which to move on shuts down the brain's search for closure,” says Eleni Nicolaou, an art therapist and creative wellness expert.
She recommends sending a post-interview follow up, then immediately switching to a high-focus activity—like painting—to soothe your nervous system.
To close loops that are already open, Webster suggests: “updating your tracking system, sending a final brief follow up if desired, and mentally releasing that role. “Some clients also limit how much emotional investment they allow themselves early in the process, treating initial interviews as information gathering rather than auditions for belonging.”
Tip 3: Release through a contained vent
Simmering in resentment post-ghost? Let it out.
“Set a timer for 10 minutes and write everything you would say to the organization if there were no consequences,” Webster says. “Do not edit or soften it. When the timer ends, close the document and intentionally shift your attention, whether that is a walk, stretching, or a grounding activity. This gives the anger a place to go so it does not leak into every application or interview.”
Naming the hurt also helps. “Instead of internalizing the silence as rejection, name it as a systemic failure in hiring practices,” she says. “This subtle shift helps reduce shame and keeps the experience from becoming part of your identity or self worth.”
Tip 4: Create a sanctuary
You are not your job. You are not your job search, either.
“In my work, the most meaningful shift that I've seen is the re-empowering of individuals when they no longer see the interview as the end goal,” Nicolaou says. “We view the search as a period of data collection, not a confirmation of your personhood.”
She recommends creating a literal or figurative sanctuary—maybe for art, maybe for meditation—where you can focus on something outside your professional identity. This acts as a nervous system buffer as you navigate the job market.
Tip 5: Explore your feelings
Words have power. Coach Lucy Todd suggests using a Feelings Wheel to pinpoint exactly where ghosting strikes your system, then exploring:
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I think the reason I was ghosted was ____. Assuming I'm right about that, what if anything, can I learn for next time?
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But now, let's assume I'm wrong about that. What are 3 other possible reasons?
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Of all of these reasons I might have been ghosted, which of them are outside of my control, and why? Which of them are within my control, and how?
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What's the story I'm telling myself about getting ghosted? Is that completely, 100% true?
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When else have I felt this way? What do these situations have in common? What did I learn?
Let me be clear: None of these exercises prevent employer ghosting. It’s unavoidable in this market and culture. But—and this is so important—they can help to preserve your self-worth, your sanity, and your optimism, three things we should all be guarding fiercely in 2026.
