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Have you ever watched Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
In the late ‘90s, when the show first aired, it was one of my family’s go-tos—so familiar to me that even now I remember exactly how watching it felt in my body. The music, the lights, the clock, the tension. Regis Philbin’s signature Bronx chatter.
To me, it was all pressure and a bit of a belly ache. Physically uncomfortable but, for the hopeful, addictive. This amazing opportunity to skip to the front of the line through your own wits and willpower.
One person against the game… or so it seemed to tiny me.
Truthfully, today the memory plays on a double monitor: There’s kid-me swelling, yet also bracing, at the opportunity and adult-me watching her, wondering if she understands the most important part of the game. The lifelines.
Phone a friend. 50/50. Ask the audience. Walk away.
Perhaps the clearest road map I could have witnessed for succeeding without burning out, proof that pressure is never meant to be handled in isolation. Success is achieved by knowing when and how to use our lifelines.
But I missed it, because I thought, like so many other girls, women, high-achievers, or stubborn youngest daughters, that winning—I mean really winning—meant doing things on my own. Zero help or support.
And society pretty much underlined that. It still does.
Take last week’s poll results: We asked women when they last took a mental health day, and our largest group of respondents, about 30 percent, told us they’ve either never taken one or don’t have the option through their workplace.
Even among those who do, there’s often a fair amount of hesitation to lean all the way in. Instead, we save PTO for when we’re “really sick,” power through headaches at our desks, or answer emails while technically OOO. Mental health awareness is mainstream now, but rest is still treated like something only earned with a doctor’s note.
This, despite unyielding self-sufficiency never really working for anyone. Not the burned out half of the American workforce. Not the working moms juggling laundry and corporate ladders. Not the contestants on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?.
Which brings us back to the show.
Millionaire’s lifelines are rest stops. Support systems that can keep you playing longer and smarter, so long as you’re strategic enough to use them early.
The problem is that most of us, when we’re watching, aren't thinking, Man, this game show is such a great example of how prioritizing ourselves—not simply enduring—can create a sustainable path to success. Even when the lesson is playing out on the screen.
But if we translate the game into real life, the lifelines become more accessible in that view:
Phone a friend is that person you don’t have to perform for. You don’t edit your texts or overthink the last thing you said. You feel grounded, safe to vent or to ask for help. You’re received as you are.
50/50 is prioritization—what you cut, what you choose to focus on, what you leave behind to make life more manageable.
Ask the audience is your community, the people who say “I feel that way, too.” Your therapist who reframes your thoughts. The perspectives that shift and shape you.
Walk away is learning to leave before you’ve exhausted yourself. It’s rest without earning it. It’s self-trust, boundaries, and mental health days. And often, it’s the hardest, most important, lifeline of them all because you’re choosing yourself over the game.
Sure, there’s something to be said for winning Millionaire without using a single lifeline. Those people are impressive as hell.
But the point is that success was never defined as playing alone. And honestly, there’s relief in that.
